How I've Been. (Really)

I was sitting on one of the benches alongside the Syracuse University promenade, jotting down notes in my planner when I overheard a prospective SU student say to her mother, "I'll be happy here, right?".

image source: na-kim, via lalunagogh, tumblr. 

Right as I heard this I stopped writing entirely. It sparked strong feelings within me and I was, to be honest, quite taken aback.

Most people would never suspect it, but I have been struggling with my time here at Syracuse for the past couple of months. First semester, Syracuse was perfect. I adjusted quickly and was so happy and confident in my decision to go to 'cuse. But around the mid-year point, I became really unhappy. I constantly felt buried under a huge wave of anxiety. I felt like I was drowning. I even considered transferring.

But now, as the end-of-the-year is fastly approaching, I have been slowly rediscovering the things that I once loved about Syracuse.

You see, SU and I have a love-hate relationship. It's not perfect, but that's okay. We're taking little baby steps to get back to a place where I can breathe and be happy again.

..."I'll be happy here, right?" That's the big question, and I am working on getting there, on being my best self on my own terms.

I'll keep you all updated on how that's going...

Until next time,
-D

Hello, Old friends.

Readers of Dearly Danielle:

Hi. It's been a while. Over a year to be precise. 

I guess I should fill you all in a little bit. Since I've last written: I graduated high school, traveled to Italy and Croatia, packed up my life in Virginia, moved to central New York, and now have just one month left of my freshman year at Syracuse University.

...it's crazy how fast time can pass by you. 

Even though I strayed away from this platform, I haven't stopped writing. I am a writer for Syracuse's The Odyssey Online community and have gotten involved in SU's premiere fashion and lifestyle magazine, University Girl.

Although I love being involved in those publications, I have missed Dearly Danielle, dearly (bad pun intended). This blog is my baby. I'm in charge and get to call the shots and that is something so freeing and cathartic to me. I wish I'd kept up with my blog throughout this past school year, but I have no regrets and am choosing to focus on the future, rather than dwell on the past. 

This summer, onward, is finally the time for Dearly Danielle to shine. 

I recently had a sort of "revelation" or "epiphany", if you will. I decided that I need to stop being so passive. I'm only in college for four short years, and the first is practically coming to a close, so I need to work passionately and whole-heartedly towards my goals. 

I want to graduate Syracuse being able to look back fondly on my four years. I want to be proud of what I've accomplished, and not feel like I wasted the time I've had here.

I'm so lucky to attend a program at the top of its kind and I need to take advantage of all it has to offer me. No longer will I sit passively watching the days go by. I want -- need -- to make something out of myself. 

For my whole life up until now, I always placed myself in the background, but not anymore. 

The name "Danielle Sterling" will be known at the end of my four years here, and I will be proud to be behind that name. 

So although this blog post sounds more like something that would be seen around New Years, I say screw that. There's never a wrong time in life to want to make a change about yourself.

Readers of Dearly Danielle, never fear, you won't have to wait a whole year and four months for another blog post, because I will now be posting regularly again.

I am so excited for you all to go along on this ride with me. 

Until next time.

-D  

A Mexican Getaway

¡Hola! As I sit here cuddled up on my coach on the frigid east coast, I reflect on my enjoyably warm and sunny trip to Cozumel, Mexico! It was seriously AMAZING! My family rented two villas right on the beach and had the most wonderful time. We swam, laughed, sipped fruity drinks, ate scrumptious food, and (of course) enjoyed each other's company. I hope that all of you had a great winter break and a happy new year! May 2018 be the best year yet! 

Here are a few moments from my trip that I wanted to share with you all. Enjoy! 

xoxo, D

Welcome, Winter.

The Winter Solstice is upon us. To welcome winter, I thought it would be a fun idea to do a blog post! The weather (oddly) cooperated today, so that is why I'm not all bundled up for a snowy day! I paired this red gingham J.Crew top with some lightly-distressed jeans, closed-toe heels, a simple tote, and some gold jewelry! I love this look because it can be either dressed-up or dressed-down. If I were to dress this outfit down I would have paired it with my Stan Smith Adidas sneakers (aka my holy grail)! I hope you all enjoyed this look as much as I did, and enjoy the winter season!

Stay warm and lots of love, 

-D

The Empire State

  

 

Welcome back to the blog, lovelies! I just spent last weekend in my favorite city in the whole entire world: NYC! While I was there I went to the NY Giants game, ate delicious cookies from THE Levain bakery, explored Central Park, and walked from West 23rd all the way to East 82nd street. From Chelsea to the upper east side and back to the west, I had the best time taking in all the craziness from the city. Here are just a few moments captured from my trip! I cannot wait to go back. 

Talk to you all soon.

-D

The "Fast-Forward" Itch.

I was never the type of person to "live in the now". I've always moved way too fast for reality. I am constantly on fast-forward, while the rest of the world is moving at real time. 

I just want to skip over the rest of high school, go to my dream school, and move to New York City and have the time of my life.

Of course, of course, I am not so naive to think that something so perfect can happen, but hey... a girl can dream can't she?

Anyways, that's besides the point. 

My real question is: Why do I want to hold the fast-forward button down on this part of my life?

After taking some time to ponder on this conundrum, I think I came up with some sort of answer.

Social Media.

That is what's causing my ever-so pressing "fast-forward" itch. 

Sure, I love social media. It's an amazing platform that helps us connect and share our lives and best moments together. 

Hold up. Pull your attention to that one key word: "best"...

Social media is a highlight reel. 

It becomes an obsessive place where you can get lost. With thousands of profiles at the touch of your fingertips, it is rather easy to see into the lives of others while in the comfort of your home. I get to see the college gameday pics, the island someone just visited, and the couple that are just SO in love…and, even though I don't try to, I start to feel bad about myself. Feeling like I need to be doing something much more glamorous and cooler than being a regular teenager at home doing my homework. I find myself wishing and waiting for a fast-forward button, so I can start living the life like the people's I see online.

But, if I take a step back and think about this whole...issue...I realize that a fast-forward button isn't necessary, at all.

I have all the time in the world to grow up and live like an adult. Right now, my main concern should be that I need to start living in the now, appreciating what I have and what I got...which is a lot.

Comparison...and Other Tangents.

Comparison: The act or instance of comparing.

It's all around us. Every single waking minute of our lives -- whether we want to admit it or not -- is spent comparing ourselves to others. It's ridiculous, but we can't help it no matter how hard we try. 

It's human nature.

At this point, you may be asking yourself: "What the hell is the point of this blog post?"

Well, myself as well as 65.9 percent (yes, I did look up this statistic) of all high school students in America are in the crazy horrible agonizing stressful whirlwind of a process entitled: The College Application Process.

It's all anyone ever talks about these days. Parents, teachers, friends, counselors, distant-second-uncles-twice-removed.

They're all like...

      "Where do you want to go to college?"

      "What's your top school?"

      "Are you going to go there like your brother and sister did?"

      "Oh... I heard that x is applying there. Good luck, I guess."

      "What's your SAT test score?"

      "ACT?"

      "Subject Tests?"

      "GPA?"
     
      "Class rank??"

ugh.

Here's what I have to say about all of that.

Stop the badgering, the questions, the looks of disapproval and scorn and contempt. 

Us, as soon-to-be high school graduates and rising college students, want need you to realize that we are trying. We are trying our very best to get through this process still sane. It's hard. It is. And comparing ourselves to others is the root of it all.

I, personally, look at my brother and sister and compare myself; I look at my friends and wish that they weren't applying to the same school that I am; I compare my SAT score with my cousin; I devalue my own worth due to the constant focus that I have on others.

It isn't right. But that's life. It is human nature to compare oneself to others. 

I guess that writing all of this down right now has helped me come to some sort of disarrayed conclusion to this madness: The college application process is daunting, stressful, scary and a lot crazy, but it's necessary. 

Through the hours and hours of high-caliber stress that I've gone through in the past couple of months, I think I've started to find myself. Not to be cliché or anything...

You know, when you're young and in school you're always told what to do, where to sit, when to pee, what classes to take, and who to talk to. But, as I've gone through this crazy process filled with jealousy, over-comparison, and stress, it has given me the chance to make my own decisions. This process is one-hundred percent mine, and nobody can take that away from me.

Reading what I have written so far, I see that I've definitely gone way off topic...oops! Anyways, let me leave you with this: 

Seniors, we got this. It's going to be a crazy next few months but we will get through this. Just make sure to try and focus on only yourself because after all, the college application process should be one-hundred percent your own. Don't waste time (and sanity) on comparing yourselves to others. Remember: You are smart, you are beautiful, and you are worth it.

Good luck!

-D


Quote of the Day: Que Sera Sera // What will be, will be.